![What’s Good For Seniors: More Quickies! – Senior Planet from AARP What’s Good For Seniors: More Quickies! – Senior Planet from AARP](https://149472331.v2.pressablecdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/senior-sex-2.jpg)
Usually, my Intercourse at Our Age column presents one detailed reader query and my detailed reply. Often I change it as much as offer you “Quickies”: a couple of brief questions and solutions. You all the time take pleasure in these, so right here’s one other spherical!
First Time with New Man Damage
Q #1: My husband of 39 years handed away three years in the past. I met a youthful man. I like him and I’m drawn to him, however the first time harm. This was my first intercourse since my husband. We nonetheless need to attempt. I picked up lubricant for vaginal dryness. I would love this to work as a result of he makes me really feel attractive and enticing. I’m 69 and my husband was my solely lover.
A: Sure, you want a high-quality lubricant and loads of arousal time to get your vagina prepared for penetration. However suppose as an alternative of creating intercourse the objective, you determined simply to pleasure one another. Take turns exploring one another’s arousal and orgasms.
If intercourse was pleasurable earlier than however it hurts now, there could also be a number of causes.
If intercourse was pleasurable earlier than however it hurts now, there could also be a number of causes. You haven’t had intercourse for 3 years, and your genitals want light awakening. You’re possible experiencing efficiency nervousness: you are concerned that you simply gained’t be capable to settle for or take pleasure in a brand new lover’s penis, and your vagina responds by refusing admission. Take the stress off by pleasuring one another with out expectation of intercourse for now.
I strongly suggest that you simply learn my ebook, Intercourse After Grief Navigating Your Sexuality After Shedding Your Beloved, which solutions all these questions, plus some you didn’t know you had!
I’m Jealous and She’s Promiscuous
Q #2: I’m 62. My spouse, 67, says she’s not concerned with intercourse anymore, though I’m. Nonetheless, she speaks sexually to different males, I discovered Meetville in her Pinterest account. I’m prepared to depart. She says my penis dimension isn’t the difficulty, however swoons over any large-handed man in her proximity. A therapist, two years into our marriage, mentioned we shouldn’t be collectively. I’m jealous and she or he’s promiscuous.
A: You may have determined your spouse is promiscuous as a result of she’s not concerned with intercourse with you, she follows a relationship web site on Pinterest, and she or he finds males with massive palms interesting? Is there any proof that she truly has intercourse with different males? I’m seeing indications of fantasy, however no proof of promiscuity.
Whether or not she has intercourse with others or simply fantasizes about it, she doesn’t need intercourse with you. It’s unlikely that that is associated to penis dimension. Have you ever thought-about that your jealousy and accusations are making you a much less fascinating intercourse companion in her eyes? You don’t say how way back the therapist instructed you your marriage was doomed or what you’ve executed to repair the issues. It may be time to dissolve this marriage, since you’re making one another depressing. If you wish to put it aside, you’ll want a very good {couples}’ counselor.
Why No Climax?
Q #3: My husband drives me loopy, he’s so fascinating. I get tremendous excited, and I’m by no means dry at age 56. However I don’t climax! He tries oral, it’s nice. He tries intercourse, it feels fantastic. He rubs my clitoris, I adore it, however nonetheless no climax How can we repair this? I’m not on any meds besides insulin for kind 2 diabetes.
A: Till the tip of your query, I used to be going to suggest my column on Simpler Orgasms. You then talked about insulin for kind 2 diabetes. Diabetes could cause nerve harm and lowered sensitivity within the clitoris, interfering with a girl’s capacity to orgasm. Low blood sugars can even stop orgasms. WebMD mentions a examine which discovered that “girls who took insulin for diabetes had been 80% extra prone to have bother reaching an orgasm than girls who don’t have diabetes.” Please discuss to your physician, who will help you discover a answer.
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Orgasms, however No Ejaculation
Q #4: My 70-year-old husband of 35 years and I’ve all the time loved our intimacy. Three years in the past, he began having problem ejaculating. If we saved attempting, it lastly labored. Then ejaculation stopped completely. He will get erections, and we will have each type of intercourse for hours. However no ejaculation! He does have orgasms, however nothing comes out. We’ve tried toys, porn, all types of intercourse. He has an enlarged prostate, however exams take a look at okay. Despite the fact that he completely enjoys intercourse, this lack of whole launch typically angers and demoralizes him.
A: Let’s make clear: your husband is having orgasms, they usually occur to be “dry orgasms”: orgasms with out ejaculation. That is frequent in older males. Notice that orgasm happens within the mind; ejaculation happens within the penis. Orgasm with out ejaculation isn’t any much less satisfying, and lack of ejaculate is just not a defect. There could be a number of potential causes, so your husband ought to ask his physician to rule out a medical subject. Educate your self about dry orgasms, and luxuriate in them!
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Have a query about senior relationships, intercourse and intimacy? Each month Senior Planet’s award-winning senior sexpert Joan Worth solutions questions on every little thing from lack of want to solo intercourse and companion points. Subscribe now (do it right here) and don’t miss a single column. Senior Planet subscribers additionally get The Weekly Orbit, our e-newsletter with options about private finance, well being and health, expertise suggestions, a web based ebook membership and extra!
Ship Joan your questions by emailing [email protected]. All info is confidential. Joan can solely reply questions which are chosen for publication from readers age 60+.
Joan Worth has been Senior Planet’s “Intercourse at Our Age” columnist since 2014. She is the writer of 4 self-help books about senior intercourse, together with her award winners: “Bare at Our Age: Speaking Out Loud about Senior Intercourse” and “Intercourse after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality after Shedding Your Beloved.” Go to Joan’s web site and weblog for senior intercourse information, views, suggestions, and intercourse toy critiques from a senior perspective. Subscribe to Joan’s free, month-to-month e-newsletter